Am I Doing Something Wrong In Our Relationship?

Photo by Pablo Heimplatz

They say break-ups are a mess. They happen here and there. And the sad thing about it is that it happens to everybody. Most women describe break-ups as ‘ending a relationship in a way you didn’t want it to.’ And usually, women end up wondering how, why and what happened.

Well, I guess we can help on the ‘what’ part. Here are some (very) common mistakes that women do, consciously or unconsciously. It’s not complete, but it’s a start. Read on and sum up on how have you’ve been doing on the dating game.

Thinking you can change him.

Some women get into relationships with men with undesirable traits, and hold fast to the relationship hoping that he’ll get better with time. Women sometimes feel that men need them to change.

Well, that’s actually not how it works. You see, women are attracted to a man not by how nice or good he is, but by gut feelings. She ‘feels’ that her man is nice and good deep inside, and that they can remedy the shortcomings if they tried hard enough.

Sadly, this gut feeling doesn’t exactly translate to a deep connection with him. In other words, trying to change him is like trying to teach a pig to sing – it wastes time, it doesn’t work, and it annoys the pig.

Gut feelings are well and good, but it’s better to trust your intuition instead.

Thinking looks are enough to turn him on.

Women think that men are purely visual creatures – that men are turned on only by looks. In addition, most women think that men are not that good with verbal communication. So these women resort to body language to trigger men’s attraction mechanisms.

It’s not that simple. Looks may be most obvious way to get the train started, but it’s hardly the best way. The right thing to do is to use a combination of verbal communication and body language. It takes practice, but a man is less likely to be smitten by a beautiful woman than by a beautiful woman who can also carry a good conversation.

Being someone you’re not.

I may be stating the obvious, but it bears repeating: Men won’t be happy in a relationship if you’re not happy yourself. It’s never a good idea to play along with a guy’s fantasy and dreams while degrading yourself in the process. It’s all about respect – a man looks at a woman with varying magnitudes of respect. Being a doormat or nymph won’t get you any of it.

Confessing up too early.

Most attractive, successful and single men have healthy dating lives. In other words, they have been to a lot of dates already and they are quite adept with the types of women they encounter. For these kinds of men, women who raise the most red flags are those who spill the beans on the second or third date. By that, I mean those women who say ‘I think I like you’ too easily and too early. It gives him the idea that she’s one of those clingy types who rush into relationships.

The best thing to do would be to take it easy and let the relationship grow naturally.

Ignoring the signs

Men unconsciously give out signs that indicate how deep his relationship with you is. These signs give hints on just how ready he is to go deeper into the relationship with you. By just merely listening to what he says, and by careful and accurate judging what he’s saying, you may just know what he is on.

(a) The Social level – he talks about life in particular, including what he does and how he’s doing.
(b) The Emotional level – at this point, the guy starts giving hints that he is available emotionally.
(c) The Physical level – The guy starts telling you how wonderful you look, how he loves your dress, etc. He starts saying he’s attracted to you and why.
(d) The Love level – at this point, the guy openly tells you that he’s ready to build a relationship with you in the future.

The signs are there. Learn to read them and know when to give the right answers.

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